Stream of Consciousness is So Overdone

There are times when I stop and think

about the choices I have made

and how arbitrary they have become

Based on nothing but pleasure of the flesh

So I think of what good they have done

...nothing

I draw up blank.

In the meantime, I compare myself to those idolize.

Of course, with my own revisionism

and I make of mold of that which I chose to be

which I long to be

I have so much work to do.

Mo' Sketches, Mo' Problems. 5x3 Moleskine

word.

Trojan Horse

watch the branches sway

and we go where eagles dare

spin out, baby, spin

8x5 Moleskine scans

8 Words

They can only shut me for so long!!!

#1

there is a castle

on a hill

and I am approaching its peak

and the winds whips

and my ears tear

and my legs are weak

but I continue to push

because beautiful fields arise before me

but I'm not sure how much more of this I can take

photographs

unexpected

can 

be 

beautiful

http://www.flickr.com/photos/operationdoom/

untitled.

it

is

only

the 

wind

that

rustles

the

trees

.

The Artist's Warning!

Don't push an artist because we already live close to the edge!! LEARN YOUR LIMITS!! Appreciate the art because if we didn't CREATE the SHIT that you LOVE you would stand TRAPPED in a BLAND WORLD! DON'T JUDGE US! DON'T QUESTION US! DON'T CRITICIZE US! It takes a lot to OPEN our HEARTS and POUR ourselves to you! My WORLD is not the SAME as your world. I have seen SHIT that you would NEVER understand and if you saw it you'd KILL yourself! I FEEL PAIN that you'd never be able to TOLERATE! I don't always SMILE because I'm HAPPY, sometimes I just smile because it FEELS great! We don't have to do what we do! We are giving out gifts for free! Merry Fucking Christmas!! Don't complain about a GIFT! Consider yourself LUCKY, and consider yourself WARNED!  

If | 2.8.09

Tessa said :

"You know, there is only a fine line between genius and insanity"

and it wasn't the first time I'd heard that.

Not that I am a genius or anything (nor do I try to be) but 

for those geniuses out there, 

one could interpret that many ways

Meanwhile

I am rotting away

I feel like a flightless bird

knowing my potential and seeing what my peers can do

yet feeling so uninspired that I just don't even try to get my feet off the ground

"what a waste of talent"

"Hurting someone is an act of reluctant intimacy"

Today was the most one of the beautiful days of the new year.

Sometimes I wish I was a snake so I could stick out my tongue and taste the air

taste the joy,

taste the relief,

taste the life within it

feeling the wind gust whipping against my skin

and the faint sounds of children skipping in praise of the day

it is at times like these...I am okay

it feels good to feel alive every once in a while

goobledeegook

my mother always told me to "choose your friends wisely"

naturally, i didn't listen

but to watch a friend hurt a friend hurts, my friend

so i have to make my choices wisely.

an ode to mass

James and I went to Mass

but neither of us is Catholic

so we knew nothing of what to expect

but, both of us being Christian, we knew what Communion was

and we could make it through that

as we walked thru the pews, I was amazed at the how grand and gothic everything was compared to all the churches I had attended

I listened to the Word of God

I ate His son's flesh

I drank His son's blood

and we sang the closing hymn

as I exited the doors of the House of the Lord

I felt as though I had just been rained on

and as I looked at James, I could tell he felt the same

it's funny how a little worship can change a man

because...

Love

is

not

a

synonym

for

eternity

Importance of Quietus

yesterday, one of my roommates friends passed away

despite our differences, i was sympathetic

he was so down; as i have never seen him before

it is at times like these i realize people all have feelings no matter what

and death makes us all realize that